Sunday, September 11, 2011

We Need to Expect the Best

Today I’m thinking about how expectations change lives.

I’ve been reading too many social media comments recently about the low quality of self-published books. The low quality, hampered by an unrealistic expectation on the part of writers that they can publish a book without going through the hard work of checking and usually rechecking every word, spells disaster for the industry.

Rewards Without Work?

This presumption that you can get rewards without putting in the work seems to be a trend in society today.

At least some of today’s tumultuous economy can be laid at the feet of people who look for everything as if it is due them, even though they haven’t earned it.

Mind/Body Connection

I’m a firm believer in mind/body connection. A tremendous amount of what we feel; joy, sadness, fear, anticipation, anxiety, anger, etc., is brought about by what we think or expect. If we have a low expectation of what we can accomplish in life then that’s what we provide. If we presume to have the capabilities and ambition to execute a plan for the future, there is no reason that cannot come true.

This also is true of what we think of others. It is very easy for someone who interacts with you to realize that you have a low expectation of what he or she can accomplish. That sets the standard for that relationship.

Setting high expectations assumes the likelihood of positive fulfillment.

Expectations for Children

Studies have proven that when parents set low expectations for their children, the children only perform up to that level. On the other hand, a high expectation expressed to a child with the assurance of assistance will set the child on a path of believing he has positive prospects in his future.

My Expectation

My expectation is that my diligence in my research, my experience in writing and my willingness to edit and re-edit every word, will lead to the completion of a book that individuals interested in women’s history and the history of CT will want to read.

I would love to hear from other writers about how much they edit.

Monday, September 5, 2011

Would the Plymouth Colony Have Survived Without Women?

When I say I’m writing a book and start talking about my research on women’s history, people immediately start mentioning famous women.  They want to talk about Clara Barton, Mother Theresa, Ella Fitzgerald, Harriet Tubman, or Amelia Earhart. These women were wonderful and we should be proud of them. They opened doors and leveled the playing field for us by accomplishing great things.

Unsung Heroes

What about the unsung heroes --What about the women behind the scene, behind the man, behind the family, behind the community that do so much for others, should we not be honoring them? I am writing about the women who helped make it possible to settle Connecticut and for us to have a country today. You think that is too bold a statement? What if no women came here on the Mayflower and the Speedwell, and all the other ships that landed here in the 1600s? Would the Plymouth Colony have survived without women? It certainly wouldn’t have grown without their wombs to produce the children.

A Settlement of Men

Actually, there was one settlement that came after the Plymouth Colony and it was all men. Nathaniel Philbrick tells about it in Mayflower: A story of courage community and war. They were not family men and did not think about storing up food for the future. They lived for each day. Without women to garden, cook, make clothes, and everything else the women in the Plymouth Colony did, the men were lost on their own. They did not try to grow their own food, instead they stole from the Native Americans, which caused  violence. In the end, they perished. Some starved to death, others were killed by or went to live with the natives. I think a strong case can be made that if they had women with them there would have been more organization, more community and maybe the colony would have survived.

Valuable Diaries

Mayflower is a book every American should read. Philbrick’s research is extensive.  During his research, Philbrick had access to diaries of William Bradford, John Winthrop, and others that gave him insights into the temper of the period. We are fortunate today that many of these diaries have been printed and digitalized for Internet access. Unfortunately, there are few seventeenth century diaries by women. They didn’t have the time. Although most could read because it was required by the church that she read and teach her children to read the Bible. They didn’t, however, know how to write, which is evidenced by the fact they made a mark instead of a signature on legal papers.

I have always thought we do not honor enough the behind-the-scene people, who  help make things happen while others take credit. In the women’s magazine I published some years ago, we made it our mission to seek out unknown women and write about their everyday successes.

One of the reasons this project attracted me is how writers had totally ignored these women. Every time I looked at all the books written about the prominent men,  I could not help but question how prominent  they would have been if their wives had not performed as expected. The wives made their clothes befitting their positions, took care of their homes and children, and behaved according to the strict tenets of the community, making the men look good.