Let’s Meet the Brave Women

Over the next few weeks, I am starting a series that will introduce some of the women I profile in “Tracing the Invisible Women Who Helped Birth Connecticut.”

Hannah (Spencer) Brainerd

Hannah Spencer was born 15 Apr 1640 in Lynn, MA to Jared and Hannah (Hills) Spencer. The family moved to Hartford, CT and in 1663/4 Hannah married Daniel Brainerd, Sr.

Factually Based Faux Quote

“I have lived a busy life and seen a lot of our new country. I remember how excited we were to leave Lynn and go to, Hartford, a new place in the wilderness where we could worship God in our way. The trip was long, tiring and sometimes frightening. I had to help Mother with the little ones. In Hartford, I married my fine husband Daniel who lives by God’s word and we moved again. We have eight healthy children. As this sickness wears me down, the older children manage the house and the younger children. May it be God’s will that I get well and take that burden from them.”

Hannah (Spencer) Brainerd died in 1691 when her youngest child was ten.

Next Week

Next week we find out what happens when, at the age of 20, Hannah broke an engagement.

Please comment if you’ve ever known a Spencer or a Brainerd.

Embracing Change Makes it easier to Accept

Gail Sheehy, the feel-better guru who wrote a number of self-help books that assist women in navigating the many changes life throws at us, said, “Changes are not predictable; but to deny them is to be an accomplice to one’s own unnecessary vegetation.” We all know people caught in this trap. But, we live from life that attitude makes all the difference. If we dread something, we are apt to put it off and not make the changes in our lives that we should.

Always Changing but Always the Same

Some changes are more predictable than other changes, such as winter is coming whether I like it or not. My remedy for being concerned about the cold weather I dislike (that I thought was peeking over the seasonal horizon but instead cascaded right in ahead of time as a noreaster), is to go to the ocean and soak up the sun and atmosphere.

I did that some weeks ago to consider some major changes coming in my life even bigger than winter coming, most of which I welcome with open arms. The universe served me well and dished out some perfect weather if a little cool. There is something mysterious about the pull of the ocean, that has always spoken to my spirit. I find the routine of the waves and the tides so reassuring. Always changing but always the same.

Storing Inspiring Scenes for Later Viewing

I walked the surf and filled my mind’s eye with clusters of scenes that I can recall later when I need them. I have always believed in the connection between body and mind. I have done this in the past. If in the middle of winter when I could allow myself to become depressed, I would rather close my eyes, pay attention to my breathing and let the vision of sun and sand and warmth warm my body. This reminded me of a trip to the Rhode Island beaches earlier in the year. This too was a great beach day with a warm sun and a constant soft breeze and not too many people. The seagulls were aggressive and didn’t want to leave after they finished my leftover lunch. This trip being earlier in the year provided some different scenes. One toddler, wearing only sunglasses, was running back and forth teasing the surf and squealing with delight.

A fashion statement was very noticeable – the two-piece swimsuit for women is back. Unfortunately, it is not a very pleasing sight on some women!

Dealing with Inevitability

I watched as a group of children desperately tried to save their sandcastle from the changing tide. They, of course, were not successful. Some things in life we cannot keep from changing; we grow older, our children grow up, the tides keep changing and the seasons revolve.

Helping others is a Good Life Focus

I talked to an elderly man scanning the beach with his little metal detector, who said he had found $600 so far this year. More important to him was that he helps people find valuables. He recently helped a young couple who had just become engaged that morning find the engagement right that had been lost in the sand. (Was that an omen?) He was happy he could help and refused their offer of a reward. 

We cannot hold back time, the seasons or the end of a day at the beach. Nor can be avoid the many changes life forces on us. We can, however, approach them with an open mind focused on the positive. In the meantime, the sights, sounds and impression I recorded in my journal that day are memories that will keep me warm this winter. And here we are in the middle of January and the first really cold weather is here but SPRING IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER.

Three Ways to Get Back to Your Writing Routine

Well, the holidays are over. I always feel a bit of a letdown in January. Of course, some of that is because of my hatred of winter weather. 

Structured Schedule

Another reason I feel out of sorts is that I’m happiest and most productive with a structured schedule. I like to write at certain things on certain days at a certain time. The holidays interfered with that routine.

During the holidays, it became impossible to write as many blogs, do as much research or write for my book. This gives me a feeling that I am behind schedule and that is rather paralyzing if I don’t get back into a routine. I find myself having this feeling of “Okay, what am I supposed to be doing now.”

I know many writers don’t structure their writing. With other commitments such as family, exercise, keeping up with social media and just plain life, I feel that if my writing isn’t scheduled, it will take a back seat to the other activities.

If you are like me, here are three ways to get back into the harness of a writing schedule:

1)      Make a list of all responsibilities. Yes, I believe if you want to be a productive writer you have to see your writing as a responsibility. I don’t mean in a burden kind of way but rather a response to an inner need. I have to be accountable to my spirit that calls for me to write.

2)      Set deadlines, especially for your writing. Of course, I don’t always have a choice on my deadline because my editors give me deadlines. I always schedule my personal deadline a couple of days earlier than my editor’s to be sure I’m completely confident with the completeness and quality of my piece.

3)      Put this list and the deadlines on a scheduling calendar. I have one on my iPad that is very useful. I put everything in it. That way, when I’m making appointments, I won’t schedule another event during my writing time. If a conflict comes up it is easy to move times and dates around on the calendar.

Don't Let Writer's Block Set In

Not having a routine that calls their muse into action is why some people have writers’ block. I really think that writers’ block is just the lack of writing. One of those vicious circles in life. If you schedule time to write and sit down and write anything, your inner spiritual muse will wake up and say, “Hey, we can do better than that.” Then you’ll be off writing what you need to write.

If you have a schedule or if you can’t abide having a schedule, please comment so we can compare how writers live their writing lives.

Networking by any Name

When I was publishing a women’s magazine in the 1990s, networking was the buzzword. Today it is social media networking. The concepts are not that different. I see positives in both methods of connecting with like-minded individuals. Information/knowledge is power. In the 90s I strove to empower women of all ages by bringing them information and spreading the word on whatever it was that they did.

Close Relationships vs Immediacy and Greater Numbers

I think the face-to-face networking of the 90s created a powerful medium for both inbound and outbound marketing that had a deeper depth than social media marketing. Numerous connections made every minute on social media networks give one a sense of marketing growth that might not always be realistic. Upon examination, many, I find, are just superficial. The real positive for social media networking is in its immediacy and the ability to reach out to many individuals at the same time and at greater distances.

Disconnection

Often as I traveled back and forth across the state, it amazed me to meet women and/or groups of women struggling with a project and had no idea that other women somewhere else in the state were having the same struggle or had already completed a similar project. They were missing a link.

Much of what I did during that time focused on connecting women with information and giving them a medium to share their diverse ideas. Social media networking would have made those efforts easier. A combination of the personal face-to-face meetings (there are many meetups everywhere) and social media networking is what I believe will benefit everyone reaching out to others.

Practicing Relationship Marketing

In the business networking of the 90’s individuals exchanged business cards and followed up with a phone call or email, whereas with social media networking they are exchanging links. The results are the same; making connections. In both instances, networkers were practicing relationship marketing. The biggest difference, in my estimation, is the amount of information we put out about ourselves today. That wasn’t the case in the 90’s. Of course, we still have a choice of how much and what details on our lives we put into the public domain.

Complete those Profiles

A key component of social media is completing your profile on each medium (Facebook, Twitter, Google+, Linkedin, others) that you have joined. It is very important that you give some thoughts to this profile before you do it. You don’t have the advantage of a face-to-face impression, consequently, you have to make your words paint a picture of who you are. As you complete it, consider what you would say if you were talking directly to a new acquaintance. It is easy to forget to be personal when all you’re doing is typing into a profile form on a computer.

Here’s a great exercise. As you answer each question of a profile, pretend you are talking to a person. Making it a conversation will help you develop your profile so it will have the personal feel of face-to-face marketing.  Please comment and let me know how you do.

Preparation for the Best Personal Profile

While writing queries and book proposals, remember the agents and publishers also want to know about you. It’s not just about the book. What are your credentials? What makes you the right person to write this book? Especially with nonfiction books, such as I am writing, it’s important to show agents and publishers you are an expert. Leave no question that you aren’t the best person to write your book.

Adding to your Authority

If you aren’t confident about your credentials, add to your authority before you query or submit a proposal. Get letters of recommendation from the top people in your field of research. Don’t be afraid to request a letter from people you don’t know very well. This is an opportunity to talk about your book to people in your area of interest. They will want to help you. Check your affiliations with all the significant organizations in your field. If you find you are lacking in belonging to the right groups, join now.

Hitting the Lecture Tour

Another method is to plan a lecture tour in your field of expertise. First, do your research. Are there any local meetings of organizations pertinent to your subject area? This is usually not as hard as people think it is. For instance, I saw a call for papers from the Assn. for the Study of CT History and immediately wrote a proposal, which was accepted. This action not only will give me more credibility but will also spread the word about my book.

The Speaking Engagements Are out there – Go Get Them

Don’t make it into a monumental project. Take a few notes from a part of your upcoming book that has a universal appeal that will resonate with different groups. Then work up a 20-minute talk. Next, it is just a matter of calling or emailing the different organizations and asking if they need a speaker in the near future. I suggest that you prepare the talk before you start contacting organizations for the following two reasons:

·         They might just need someone immediately. This has happened to me.

·         If you have prepared your talk, you will be more comfortable giving them an idea of the substance of your talk.

With a couple of talks behind you (be sure to ask for a letter of appreciation for each talk), your confidence level will be high enough for you to write a great description of your qualifications to be part of your proposal.

Good Marketing

Even if you’re already confident in your credentials, speaking about your book whenever an opportunity arises and to whoever will give you a microphone is good marketing. Remember the six degrees of separation. You never know who knows someone who might be very interested in your book.

Today it’s a new scene. The agents and publishers want to know that you are capable of marketing your own book. The old days of the publishers doing all the marketing, and setting up your speaking engagements, are gone. Let’s revel in the freedom to operate in our own way.

Please share in comments how you have added to your authority.

Historians Share Research on Connecticut History

I recently presented a paper at the annual meeting conference of the Assn. for the Study of Connecticut History, held at Manchester Community College. Fortunately, my presentation was the first after the keynote address so I could relax the rest of the day and enjoy all the other presentations.

Women in Connecticut

The theme of the conference was “Women in Connecticut,” which fit so well with my book “Tracing the Invisible Women Who Helped Birth Connecticut.” The three concurrent sessions each had three presenters. There was great variety in the subject matter of the sessions. The negative, if one feels it necessary to find a negative, was that it was hard to choose what sessions to attend. A number of times sessions I wanted to attend were opposite each other so I had to choose.

Although the majority of the speakers were from academia or museum staffs, I was gratified to meet other independent historians that are passionately working on projects similar to mine. As the day progressed, my mind was assimilating some of the ideas and words I was hearing for use in my book. Once again, I see the importance of being around like-minded individuals who can understand how you are feeling.

Two of my favorite presentations were right in the same session with me.

1)      Patricia Oat from the Hill-Stead Museum gave a very enlightened talk about the challenges of being a loyalist during the Revolutionary War, entitled “Behind the Kings Lines: The Experience of a Loyalist’s Daughter in the American Revolution.”

2)      Kevin Finefrock’s “The ‘Peculiar Haughtiness’ of ‘the Very Agreeable and Accomplished’ Susannah Wyllys Strong: The Politics of Gender and Social Status in Early Connecticut’” was a revelation on the class system and politics of the time.

Two talks I would have loved to attend but couldn’t fit into my schedule were:

1)      “The Hidden Ones: Southern New England Women Reconsidered,” by Joann Zeisner from the Stanley-Whitman House. I was presenting at the same time or this would have been one of my choices.

2)      Christopher Collier from the University of Connecticut gave a presentation on “Sarah Banks and the ‘Married Virgins’ Property Act of 1877. Even though it is outside my research period, I would have chosen this one if I could have because of its intriguing title.

The only drawback of the conference for me was that there was almost nothing on the seventeenth century, which is my area of research. This is a continuing problem for me. It is very difficult to research the seventeenth century because so few primary sources are available and few people are researching it.

Conferences, especially for writers, are always great for revving up the enthusiasm and getting the creative juices flowing